Pissed off by Grace?

There is a parable in the bible comparing the kingdom of heaven to a landowner who hires a bunch of people who normally couldn't find someone to hire them, to work for him in his vineyard. He goes out several times throughout the day and hires more people each time. At the end of the day, he pays all of the workers the same amount. The first batch of hirees start to gripe because they put in more time and work but were paid the same as the last batch. Our teacher told us that this story is Jesus way of revealing to the listener the twisted ugly truth that we as damaged humans despise grace and kindness; that the envy of another's good fortune is at the root of much of the evil that humans do. I must say that I was somewhat disappointed with myself and surprised with how much I resonated with this.

Going into church today, I would say that I saw myself in that last batch of workers. At that time in the Jewish history, this group would have been the least "hire"-able people in the village; those in the margins, the least of those, the downtrodden, etc. Coming out of church I was uncomfortable to find myself, instead, in the group of workers who were hired first - I have been feeling lately that I am not being treated fairly and I am angry about it. This surprising turn in my thinking, frankly, stunned me.

Could much of my struggle now be because I envy another person's blessings? That much of my critical feelings toward that person is because I am jealous that I don't have what he has or feel that he is taking grace for granted? Why is it so difficult to be happy for someone in his good fortune?

Ok, so I know and agree that I need to give up the envy and jealousy first, and that the giving of a gift is a beautiful grace-filled thing that I must learn to do willingly. But what I can't figure out yet is where this teaching falls when it comes to abusive situations. I strongly believe that continuing to give openly to someone who regularly punches you in the face, is patently the wrong course of action. The abuse must stop, and possibly after much repentance, forgiveness and healing (not likely), maybe openness can resume. To find a way to stay in a difficult situation and continue giving while finding a way to put an end to the abuse requires extreme creativity under duress.

There is no quick answer. There may be no answer at all.